There’s a new Deathstalker flick out. Let us take a look at the four previous films from the 1980s and early 90s, and see how the new one stacks up.

Rick Hill and his maximum expression in the first Deathstalker flick

Deathstalker (1983): The first epic, starring the stonefaced Rick Hill. These flicks are all MacGuffin-heavy. In this case, our hero must get the Sword of Justice which will reunite the Three Powers which will in turn enable Deathstalker to defeat the evil wizard Munkar. Got that? Also starring the immortal Barbi Benton. Sword fights. The first appearance of a sequence in which a man tied to a rope is dragged behind a galloping horse through the woods, with predictably unfortunate results. (This sequence is also used in Deathstalker II and IV.) Gratuitous names that sound like prescription medicines and/or new Toyotas: Salmaron, Nicor, Tulak. Mild nekkidity. Mud wrestling. Very silly and serious at the same time, no mean feat.

John Terlesky and Monqiue Gabrielle in the deliberately goofy Deathstalker II

Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans (1987): Here at the Bad Cinema Desk we have a soft spot for this installment because it stars fellow Denison University alum John Terlesky. While fit, he does not have the standard Brave Hero Look. Think hunk, not hulk. Also starring Monique Gabrielle in a dual role as Reena the Seer and evil Princess Evie. The latter was cloned from the former by the evil wizard Jarek, played with panache by another schlock immortal, John Lazar. Reena has to combine a precious gem with another precious gem, or something like that, to reclaim the throne. Gratuitous nekkidity. Gratuitous feasting. Warrior with pig head looks askance at roasted pig head on platter, eats anyway.  Little guy who looks like the late Hubert Humphrey playing a lute. Wrestling match between Deathstalker and Queen Kong. The worst sword fight in cinema history, and that’s saying something. Played for laughs by Terlesky and director Jim Wynorski, who apparently wrote the next day’s scenes the night before while drinking. Outstanding.

Above: Bat helmet, Deathstalker-style

Below: Bat helmet, Cher-style

Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell (1988): Aka “Deathstalker III,” this one is dominated by the late and immortal Thom Christopher as the evil wizard Troxartes, wearing a turban and channeling Gloria Swanson in “Sunset Boulevard.” The lead is played by John Allen Nelson, who like Terlesky looks like a college kid. Agustin Salvat shines as the evil henchman Makut, mostly because of his bat helmet, seemingly inspired by the cover of Cher’s 1979 album “Take Me Home.” Another “we must reunite the two precious gems” type of MacGuffin. Gratuitous nekkidity. Gratuitous feasting. Zombie warriors. The famous potato scene. Attempted swashbuckling. The best of the series. Or the least bad, if you prefer.

Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans (1991): The weakest of the original four movies. Rick Hill returns, and this time they gave him quips. The soundtrack struggles valiantly to keep up with the “action,” and the “action” richly deserves the scare quotes. We’re back to the Sword of Justice. This time the evil Queen Kana (Michelle Moffett) has summoned all the warriors to a tournament so she can poison them. The usual sword fights. Many heads roll. Gratuitous feasting and nekkidity but no zombie warriors. Quip about “vital juices.” The memorable Battle of the Small Trout Stream. Best line, guaranteed verbatim: “Deathstalker, you old fragotash!” 

Daniel Bernhardt as Iggy Pop in the 2025 Deathstalker remake.

Which brings us to 2025’s Deathstalker, where director and screenwriter Steven Kostanski has put together a pretty decent update. The flick veers between pseudo-serious and campy. Daniel Bernhardt in the title role looks like Iggy Pop, not necessarily a bad thing. On the minus side is a whole shipload of plot getting in the way of the story, and — get this — no nekkidity. Not even a hint. To balance out this grave defect, we’re talking lots of glop and gore. Plenty of material for the fantasy crowd, including the Amulet of Halgan and the Sect of Sytor and evil main henchman Jotak and evil wizard Nekronemnon. Also swamp creatures, a flying eye, a sorceress with her head inside a chained-up crate, more pigmen, and a flying rotary saw blade. The Sword of Justice makes a cameo appearance, and it’s sprouted two extra blades since the last one. Nice stop-action special effects and other handmade stuff. None of your crummy CGI nonsense here! The regular evil henchmen are called Dreadites, which we will assume is a homage to (and not a rip-off of) Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” movies. Don’t try to make it make sense. Just let it wash gently over you, which shouldn’t be hard if you’ve already watched four straight Deathstalker movies.