Sacre Blecch!

Sacre Blecch!

They look sad because it’s only the opening sequence and there are 90 minutes to go.

Jean Rollin”s “Requiem for a Vampire” is a little bit Antonioni, a little bit Hammer, and a whole lot of boring.

See, these two girls bust out of boarding school and naturally all they want to do is dress up like clowns and shoot at the cops.

This does not work out so well for the poor sap they got to drive them but c’est la vie.

So they wander around the countryside until they blunder into a ruined castle that everybody insists on calling a chateau. It’s got some pretty lame vampires and three ugly mooks who apparently look after the vampires in between raping the gals they got chained up in the basement.

One of the mooks looks a bit like Ralphus from “Bloodsucking Freaks” if that helps when you are wondering whether to rent this sucker.

So there’s a lot of blah blah blah from the main vampire about being the last of the line, and lots of aimless walking around, and mooks attacking the chained up nekkid girls and saying “arrrgh” a lot, and some more shots of the countryside, and of green slime, and the clown suits, and the revolvers that have 56 shots in them, and some mild lesbitation, and what does it all mean?

It means you should check the batteries in the remote, because you’re gonna be hitting that fast-forward.

Bah. One grudging coil. (I can’t find the coil photos, so you’ll have to imagine it.)

An outtake from the upcoming “50 Shades of Grey”? Nope — just the vampire slaves tapping into the fringe bennies on a slow day in the dungeon.

They like this sort of thing in France. In Europe, for that matter.

When hippies breed, part VII — The Boho Vampiress. First she lulls you to sleep singing “Joe Hill.” Then she closes in for the kill.

“Shall we go up? Shall we go down? Shall we take our clothes off? Shall we reload?”

“Or shall we roll around nekkid in the vampire master bedroom?”

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