Paul Schrader’s “The Canyons” (written by Bret Easton Ellis) is a tedious piece of crap about bored decadent Hollywood people of marginal talent and interest.
Blah blah blah…
A self-portrait, in other words.
It has some nekkidity, but some of it involved Lindsay Lohan, who really needs to get her act together.
It also has a real life Porn Star, James Deen. He talks too much.
As does everybody in this clunker.
…blah blah blah blah…
You can’t make an exploitation film, or even a daring, boundary-pushing flick, and bore the crap out of the audience.
A Fast-Forward Special — to the dogpile scene, which is icky.
…blah blah blah blah oh let’s get nekkid blah blah blah blah.
Zero coils. A complete waste of time.