Look what I found!

Yes, it’s the Coiled Pleasure Glass Dildo — “A dreamily shaped dildo with a gorgeous, intensely pleasurable shape that bears testament to its unique, hand-blown design, the Coiled Pleasure is a pyrex glass offering from Joyful Pleasure that’s perfect for a wide range of sexy pursuits. Formed into a delightfully angled curve, with a choice of large or small tip (depending on the end you choose to insert), it would be near impossible to miss the spot, whether you’re exploring g-spot or prostate stimulation.”

Got to love the prostate stimulation. I’ve got to fill the gap between now and my next scheduled colonoscopy somehow.

One user is enthusiastic: “Absolutely perfect. Smooth and satisfying! Would be perfect for a newbie, as there are no distracting textures.”

And you don’t have to talk to it afterwards.