In case the legions of fans were wondering, the Coiled Pleasures staff is healthy, if somewhat depressed after 10 months of sitting around the house, with only the occasional fishing trip to alleviate the boredom.

And there have been some changes. Ralphus, our favorite malignant dwarf, died in July at age 62. He died, not of COVID-19, but from sheer meanness.

Nobody was sorry.

We didn’t try to replace Ralphus. Instead we spent the money we would have paid him on stupid shit, like the Hitachi vibrator and 24-foot carp rods.

We also bought some new socks.