How to be helpful in these stressful times

How to be helpful in these stressful times

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I realize my progressive friends are having a tough time since the election, and I understand.

Really.

I recognize they are moving through the five stages of grief, albeit slightly modified.

Stage 1: Denial

Stage 2: Denial

Stage 3: Denial

Stage 4: Insane shit

Stage 5: Denial combined with insane shit.

Stage 5 will last four years minimum.

But as we all know, there comes a time when sympathy is misplaced. It actually does more harm than good.

So it’s time for a little tough love.

Tell your friends “Don’t worry — I’ll bring vegan care packages to the concentration camp! And just think of the weight you’ll lose!”

Or “With all the illegals gone, you’ll finally be able to ditch that career as a barista and mow lawns instead!”

Or “No need to sweat that conversational Spanish class now!”

Or “I’m sure you can find a buyer on eBay for your deluxe Koran.”

Or “With tax reform, you’ll finally be able to express your patriotism by paying federal taxes instead of getting a refund!”

Or “With Facebook protecting you from fake news, the chances of you encountering a contrary opinion and having a hissy fit are almost nil!”

I’m sure you can think of your own compassionate sentiments to help the liberals in your life too.

As they say, “Let’s begin this national conversation.”

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