The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984) is one of the sword ‘n’ sorcery (S&S) flicks made by Roger Corman in Argentina in the 1980s, and one of the more coherent ones.

“Coherent” is a malleable concept, so I will leave it to the always-reliable Wikipedia to summarize the plot, which does not get in the way of the story (thank you, Mr. Briggs).

“In a distant galaxy lies the desert planet of Ura, which has two suns. There, two rival warlords, Zeg and Bal Caz, constantly fight against each other in a battle over the only wellspring in the village of Yamatar. The mercenary warrior Kain emerges and announces that his skills are for hire to the highest bidder. Naja, a beautiful sorceress that has been taken captive by Zeg, changes Kain’s original purpose of taking the well for himself to saving Naja and the village people. Kain starts to tangle the situation, taking advantage of the ongoing feud while seeking to debilitate the rival warlords and defeat them.”

There are two main bad guys. Zeg is the Dictator-type, and Bal Caz is the fat one wearing a designer diaper.

Then there is the immortal Maria Socas, who also figures in Deathstalker II. In the latter, she wears a flimsy nightie and an Official Amazon Warrior Fighting Bikini, but in the co-starring role here, she is topless almost the entire way through.

For some reason the internet is only coughing up this still, which is not very clear. Still, you get the idea.

Summary: The total breast count is somewhere between 10 and 16, if you count the fat guy. One Assault Iguana. Two gibbering sycophants. One gang of slave traders with burned, squashed faces. One 1980s mullet-headed bad guy. Two quarts of blood. One old guy who hides in a cave. Two dozen scurrying villagers. One well. Gnomic utterances from David Carradine, cunningly disguised as a kung fu master named Kain, as opposed to his famous TV role as a kung fu master named Kaine.

This flick is available in a four-movie DVD set with the first two Deathstalkers and The Barbarian Queen. If you absolutely must possess some S&S, this is the way to go.

This is everything Bad Cinema should be. Four coils.